doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
