You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
