just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
