she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
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