We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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