i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
