yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
