i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
