you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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