I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
