I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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