no, he came in my armpit
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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