that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
