Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
