well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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