I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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