Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
