tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize