okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
