I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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