he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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