basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
