The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
