dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
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I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
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When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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