The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
