The best revenge is premature balding
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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