I got chris browned last night
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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