if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
whose parrot is this?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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