You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
