he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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