I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My bed smells like the plague
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
