when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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