I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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