I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
