Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
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He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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