Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
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Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
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This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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