turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?