You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
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I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
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How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.