i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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