Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"? http://tfl.nu/cjp8
  Replies (7) Good night (1027) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket. http://tfl.nu/3z5u
  Replies (31) Good night (759) Bad night (2379)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim http://tfl.nu/dc24
  Replies (24) Good night (671) Bad night (7615)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it. http://tfl.nu/fqyk
  Replies (18) Good night (901) Bad night (2726)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka. http://tfl.nu/pwqr
  Replies (15) Good night (992) Bad night (8031)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme http://tfl.nu/i0u7
  Replies (9) Good night (5047) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office http://tfl.nu/i7an
  Replies (18) Good night (2749) Bad night (2326)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight http://tfl.nu/ebf5
  Replies (6) Good night (1850) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you? http://tfl.nu/pa4x
  Replies (11) Good night (664) Bad night (1693)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire. http://tfl.nu/efxs
  Replies (7) Good night (1461) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't. http://tfl.nu/uo1x
  Replies (3) Good night (1051) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (772): I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix. http://tfl.nu/g0qx
  Replies (2) Good night (958) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): 1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone http://tfl.nu/2si2
  Replies (3) Good night (512) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (+49): View more from Germany

  Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?

  (913): View more from Kansas

  DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+49): Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in? (913): DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE http://tfl.nu/84k7
  Replies (3) Good night (991) Bad night (235)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face http://tfl.nu/2gbk
  Replies (0) Good night (434) Bad night (219)

Randomize