if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize