You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice