The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
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Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
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idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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