we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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