How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Please don't give away my fajitas
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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