He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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