she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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