sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
