i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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