he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
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Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
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Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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