So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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