Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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