I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i barfeds in our rink
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
