shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
this is an emotional support booty call
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
