I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
