also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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