Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
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At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
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I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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